What is the Deal with The Bachelor and Why Does Everyone Care?

If you are of a certain age, let’s say the age of a young professional, you likely cannot remember a world without The Bachelor. It doesn’t matter if you’ve watched it or not yourself, it’s just always been there. There’s always been someone you know who’s talked about it. A friend, a friend’s mom, a relative, a coworker. There are the people who tune in every episode, and then those who go way out of their way to discuss all things Bachelor at any given moment. The show has an impressive lifespan for reality television, and you’ll see the stars on every magazine cover in the grocery store during particularly “exciting” weeks. There are weekly (or even daily) updates on apps like Buzzfeed. The attention the show gets is monumental.

And there are so many things wrong with this show. It’s sexist, outdated, with a lack of diversity and a tendency to exploit contestants (as we’ve seen yet again this season). It tells you that beauty is tied to your blonde-ness, waistline and cup size and, if we’re real, all the girls on the show are typically interchangeable as far as looks go.

But…despite all this…it’s so good. It appeals to everyone’s dream of being beautiful, rich and in love (while we know the contestants usually aren’t as beautiful, rich and in love as they appear on TV). There’s intrigue. Drama. Just the right stuff for tuning in to watch during a rough week, with a glass of wine or two and some microwave popcorn.

Just take, for instance, the most reason season’s finale, which has been proclaimed “the most dramatic ever.” You’ve got Arie, who proposed to Becca, who then he broke up with so he could propose to the runner-up competitor instead, Lauren. People are all, why did Arie film it, that’s so insensitive, etc.? Um, because that’s good TV, baby. This isn’t about love, it’s about cold hard cash.

But think if you had to explain The Bachelor to an alien visiting Earth for the first time. Or maybe someone who’s lived their entire life on a remote island where there’s no television. Or just your grandmother (if she’s not a fan, too).

Does it sound stupid coming out of your mouth? Then it probably is.

But we love stupid. Humans innately love stupid. Our little lizard brains love watching pretty girls compete to marry a handsome douchebag, even if, for 20 seasons, we’ve been watching it happen in the same formulaic way over and over again.

It’s just oddly satisfying. There’s the hope it offers that, maybe I too might find love one day at an extravagant mansion. Maybe you get an ego boost, thinking, well, at least I’m not like these pathetic girls, throwing themselves after the jerky douchebag. Maybe you relate to one particular contestant and you identify with them so you have to watch each week to cheer them on. Maybe you just love to watch a good train wreck and you can’t look away. These are all viable reasons why we, the American public, have kept this show going for years upon years.

Oh, and in case you’re not keeping up with the latest, Becca’s been named the new Bachelorette, so she can, of course, have her chance at love (because she obviously wouldn’t have been able to find it any other way than on television); meanwhile, Arie and Lauren are packing up and moving in together in Phoenix and everything is totally peaches, because they’re meant to be.

Isn’t true love the best?